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Marvel: 2011-11-12 - Two Heads Are Better Than None!
In Central Park, it's a late time of night. The sun is shining, the muggers are out on the prowl, and the squirrels are having a turf war with the pigeons. Oh, and off in the distance, someone is swinging a huge tree over and arguing in dual harmony, "Off me foul maggots! You shall not cover my form with your accursed waste products any longer!" And then throwing it at a group of pigeons gonig through the air that just 'deposited' upon him. Given they're only pigeons, She-Hulk might not be fast to move to their defense. Anyone who lives in a major city knows that the only difference between pigeons and rats is the presence or absence of wings. Nonetheless, it attracts her attention, causing her to divert her course from her short cut towards the sound. Swinging around his fists as there's an explosion of feathers, and then -ANOTHER- release goes from the overexcited avians which is then deposited on.. One.. Of the bright orange noses of the dual-headed robotic malfeasant. "Accursed creatures! I shall rend your species from existence!" He should probably join the Park Rangers if he wants that. The tossed tree lands several miles away in a large pond, theatrically. She-Hulk ahems. "Smashing pigeons might be satisfying, but it tends to be rather hard, unfortunately." The blasted things are too fast. Hopefully they won't now take aim on her. Of course, she's not a robot, and pigeons tend not to actually poop on *people*. The Bi-Beast turns over to face the Sensational She-Hulk, "What sort of travesty is this above-ground realm whereupon I am faced with such miserable rodents?" Towering over Jennifer, and glowering at her. But not attacking quite yet. "They aren't rodents. Just about the same in habits and intelligence." No. She doesn't much like pigeons, either. Well, they're prettier than rats. Oneo f the heads slowly turns over towards JEnnifer, "Now, tell me what you are, you Jade Giantess of such Glory.." The other head just -LOOKS- at.. His other head. "She is reminisceint of one familiar, yes." He pauses, "And a glorious figure." She-Hulk ahas. "You know my cousin...I think he described a big orange guy with two heads once." As a villain, but while he's not smashing anything, she's willing to keep talking. He merely nods, "Ahh, yes, the gargantuan green gorilla. I must say, if you are his relation, then you are far more pleasing to the eyes." His other head growls, "He punched us through the Earth's crust! She's an enemy!" "He does things like that," Jen breezes, cheerfully. "Sometimes for a good reason, sometimes just because somebody insulted him." He merely sighs, one head speaking, "Regardless of regalia, your extended relation is the epitomie of ill intentioned buffoonery." She-Hulk snorts. "He's just the Hulk, that's all." And only she's technically allowed to insult him, but there's going to be a smashfest if she's not careful here. One head glowers, "Yes, just the Hulk." The other head stares up, "Quiet you, she's gorgeous." The two involved in a discussion of whether htey should hit you or hit on you. She-Hulk is really trying not to laugh. This is actually a new one even for her. Of course, she knows she's gorgeous...but she's never had somebody's multiple personalities argue about how much so before! The heads continue to argue, one going, "She can be used to lure out her relation who wronged us!" the other resopnding, "Don't be a cur, she is gorgeous, the moon is high, and the night is young, other than those ill mannered flying rodents!" Waving a hand at the pigeons,w ho scatter again. She-Hulk considers. "Do you agree about *anything?*." Well, maybe he agrees with himself that pigeons are horrible creatures. He glances, "Your relation gave us an affront!" The other contniues to.. Well, ogle. Sort of. "We merely wish to come to a concurrence of whether to attempt to inflict violence upon your form or woo you. This is how we must be, sharing this single form. We must agree on a course of action. D o you not have dual minded entities like ourselves who must do similar things?" She-Hulk hrms. "Not generally. Humans only normally have one mind, and if they don't, something's wrong with them." Or they're a Hulk...but she's not going to confuse them further. There is a shake of one head, "But you miss the grandeur of sharing things with a full time partner, of knowing that all issues must be agreed upon." The other hmms, "We could rebuild her with a second head so she could know what it is like!" TBC... Article: MRM: 2011-11-18 - Pulverizing Pigeon Paraphenelia!